Fly away to the Strange

(Its been 8 months since my last blog, but it just happened that I wrote a few poems but just could not either conclude them or fill the spices in the , middle or just could not start. And suddenly today i just thought I would take the bits and pieces from each of those unfinished poems and try to sew them together to make this poem. PLEASE DO COMMENT , IT would be APPRECIATED)

Strange is the path to love,

A path uncertain , obstacles on the way ,

Is it just about being ready to consummate ,

Or about being there every moment,

Every minute , every hour, every day.

Its all a farce, a never ending mirage,

Looking into your eyes my darling,

Love is at best a distant second,

Lust is all I get to see.

Strange is the path to such happiness,

Relationships to keep , Relationships to break,

Making a new path, new unforeseen way,

A Life changing instance it could be,

Or may even take a life away.

A drop of creamy white is birth,

A drop of viscous black is death,

And then you have a sea of brine,

To outpour during work, sex and play.

Strange is the path to such a life,

No directions to go by ,

No rules to go by, no absolute way,

Just trusting your instincts,

And living in your imaginary way.

A choice is to be made,

Whether to be confined to boredom,

Or to the backwaters of ecstasy ,

Or better still a life which is obsolete ,

Of absolutely nothing

Strange is the path to make money,

You need some to make some,

After all anything multiplied to zilch is zilch,

But then you may end up with a honeycomb,

Saving one penny at a time.

Lighting a matchstick in a wildfire ,

Drinking a glass of water under the sea,

Using an air cylinder to sky dive ,

All you want is a speck of sand from the desert.

I want to jive , I want to dive,

I want to try , try to fly

Fly away from love

Into calm and tranquility,

Fly away from happiness,

Into peace and serenity,

Fly away from life,

Into darkness and the unknown

Fly away from money,

Into satisfaction and harmony .

Fly, fly away onto the horizon,

Fly fly away into oblivion

Fly, fly , Fly away to the Strange

Something . . . . . . . . . . .

Something that life has taught me,

you can be as close to a person,

only as much the person wants you to be,

Fact of life , live with it or just die.

Something that love has taught me,

relationships are meant to mend or to break,

Love an oddysey you want to live with,

you need to try hard to live without.

Something that friendship has taught me,

It takes just a remark to liven a day,

Remark good or bad,

One's misery is the other's happiness.

Something that work has taught me,

The more harder you try,

Lesser are the chances of success,

Let things be, see the difference.

Something that nature has taught me, 

You are a reflection of something else,

The harder you try to be different,

The more the similarities become apparent.

Something that music has taught me,

Every tune exists in the universe,

The quality depends on the composer,

It could be smash hit or a flop.

Something that emotions have taught me,

The more you emote, the more you are vulnerable,

Vulnerable you definitely will be,

Once the tears dry up, human you no longer will be.

Something that intoxication has taught me,

The more you drink, 

the more you speak, 

more relationships you damage.

Something that women have taught me ,

You love  a woman and you need to unify the world,

But if she loves you with her heart and soul,

your life is done , you will die a happy man

Something that money has taught me,

The more you crave for it,

The more you find your necessaties,

Contentment would negate all these,

But alas! you would then be a man with satiable desires

Something that imperfections have taught me,

nature, work music and  emotions,

virtually complete your life,

Intoxications woman money and love, 

they just help you blur these imperfections.

Life - defined by sine waves and other theorems

The sine wave.

Whoever invented or rather discovered the sinusoidal wave knew a lot about life. Looking back at 25 years of my life, every 2 years, I have started liking someone or something , in 2 years time the interest has just faded away. Sometimes I wonder why everything seems so rosy in the beginning and then it just fades away. I feel so lonely at times that I feel I should rediscover myself - In other words, discover what I want to do or who I want to be. Probably in these 25 years, something that has soothed and supported me is MUSIC. Probably it was easier to relate to the happiness and sorrows reflected upon by the musicians. It feels like the youthful exuberance is dead and buried. Its gone, gone with the wind. 

The tragedy

The tragedy of life is that when the road is all clear, its easier to go through. A little fog on the way and you drift away to an unknown place. The place is the same, the people are the same, and you are unable to understand what has changed. Nothing really, everybody and everything is the same. Probably its you, you have kept changing thats all. I wonder about the kind of things that people can do to achieve and I feel where and why am I stopping myself. I guess I just feel like the ancient Mariner waiting for an albatross to show me the way. And then I feel like a hypocrite because 

I used to tell myself I dont believe in Destiny,

Here I am waiting for my destiny to come upon me .

To come upon me like the wind,

To blow me away,

To come upon me like the waves,

To wash me away,

To come upon me like the sun, 

To burn me away.

Thoughts of a misplaced mind

My ex girlfriend had a very nice way to bring me back to earth when I used to draw plans of conquering the world. She used to say "Do it first and then lets talk about it". You were right, I guess I am just a dreamer not an implementer. To put it in a cliched context - I was a control freak till I completely lost control of my life.

 

I used to be energetic, 

Now I just accept whatever I get,

I used to be stonehearted,

Now my emotions just overflow.

I used to flirt with chicks,

Now I fail to make an impression on the village belle.

I used to be unapologetic,

Now all that I do is mutter apologies to one and all.

Middle age prematuredly

They say that a man feels useless during his middle age but thats after 35 isnt' it ??. I guess its the global warming. I mean kids talk about sex these days once they are 10 so I guess if that could go back by 8-10 years, then - - - - -. Its a good sign I guess, as the old adage goes "Life begins at 40" Probably my life will begin at 30 thats 4 years down the lane. 

Brash and unapologetic

Being brash, unapalogetic was so much easier. No need to think twice everytime you speak, that was easier. Being cool calm and composed and collected with my thoughts, that is so much harder. Being guided and told the path to follow was so much easier. Now I am so alone, on my own, not knowing who I should believe and trust. My colleagues tell me think about yourself only. Its one man for himself, we are all professionals. Hmmm professionals are we or just animals in the jungle some rats some leopards some hyenas and some vultures to scavenge what remains.

Strategy and Intellect

I always hated to play chess with players who went about killing pieces and bringing the game to minimum number of pieces in no time. I loved to play it on the basis of strategy because of the sanity and intellect involved. Moreover the thrill and the possibility of unseen moves made it all the more interesting. But unfortunately today I am surrounded by killers rather than strategists, insanity rather than intellect.

Substance matters does it,

I always thought that substance matters. But now I am not sure. For the first time in my life everything seems to be like a fog, a mirage. Sometimes I seem to forget who I am and what I am supposed to be. Everything is so bleak. I once believed I could change the world. But I guess I lost the race. I try hard to be what the world wants me to be. 

A perfect life

 When I failed I used to console myself saying "You cant always get what you want because if you did the world would be a perfect place. But then a perfect life would be boring as life would not present the uncertainties. Its the uncertainties that make life interesting.", Unfortunately now leave alone the perfect life, I aint sure what I want in the first place. 

An old man turned ninety-eight 
He won the lottery and died the next day 
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay 
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late 
Isn't it ironic ... don't you think 

 

Ironic - Alanis Morissette

Hallucinations

The funniest aspects of our lives is the unnecessary importance we give to things which exist only in the mind and not in reality.  Take the instance of a couple who are not of the same caste or have some other issues say like my ex girlfriend was older to me. Now the problem is status, society and so on goes the bullshit. Funny status ego log kya kahenge these are in the mind and do not have substantial existence but I guess people like me just let go. I mean the girl was for real she existed and the pride izzat etc etc was in the mind. Look at me all alone and she is happily married. 

Good guys - really

A friend commented that all the good guys have stopped working cos of lack of initiative, a lack of will and more importantly the lack of creativity in their workspace. Well the good guys were supposed to make a path for themselves weren't they ? An oft repeated phrase between me and some of my friends over a peg of whiskey is " If I had a crore I would change the world." Well the fact point blank is we are not able to make anything out of the few thousands we make, would a crore really make a difference. If I heard right Dhirubhai only had 15000 out of his dowhry when he sought to build Reliance the Empire. I guess its true to make money you need to have something for exchange. I mean you need to start somewhere.

Critical Temperature of steam

We are super superheated at 372 degrees (critical temperature of steam at / above which water directly converts to steam without latent heat of conversion) we tend to forget that steam also has a pressure which can be varied till 225 bar the critical pressure of steam. I guess the biggest problem is that we all prefer to be horses with blinders. Actually that would not be fair will it because either you wear the blinders on your own or somebody else asks you to wear them.  

Fuck and forget.

Male bravado or to put it in more accurate terms LIBIDO is a subject of immense pride to the Indian male. Every second male in the country would have had sex with at least 5-7 girls before marriage. Half brag and half truth  -------- But what I do not really seem to understand is that.

If its only an intercourse that matters, you could always use a bloody stuffed mannequin. There are women smart sexy and beautiful who have fallen for LOVE and ended up having one night two nught 30nights stands, so on and so forth. And there are others in the newly found metro cliches- f@$% buddies. Well my dear f@#$ buddies whats the diference between this f@#$ and f@#$ing a prostitute .Unfortunately have not met such a girl yet. Or maybe I am just not that kind of guy. Or to sound decent I am just too selective.

A theorem to conclude all the theorems.

A cliched dialogue in our Hindi movies is "You come naked to this world and you go naked as well" or the improvised corollary "You come alone and you shalt leave alone as well". 

I guess I ll conclude by a rewriting a piece from a poem on my blog "A street where everyone has a name"

On the mountain of hopes and aspirations, do we all stand,
Most of us look down and shout out our names,

But then there are others standing up there silently,
With the ones below calling the silent ones.

As I walk down the mountain onto the street of life,
I see people standing by the signboards,
On those signboards, do they hope to have their names.

And thus one day shall thy walk ,
walk on a street where everyone has a name.